Nobody cares about you as much as you think they do.
That can either be a harsh reality check or the best comfort in the world depending on who you are.
I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum but today I’m going to talk about this in more of a positive light.
Being free from the shackles of other people’s opinions should really drive us to try things outside of our comfort zone and not dwell so much on past mistakes.
Of course this is much easier said than done. I can’t deny that I still struggle with it.
Years ago, my palms used to get sweaty at the thought of talking to other people, scared of being ‘abnormal’ in front of them and being overly conscious of what they thought of me. I used to berate myself and couldn’t exit out of a toxic self-blaming cycle. Eventually, my identity and self-esteem got broken down to the point I was too scared to leave the house.
While I was living my life as a hermit, I watched a video which I can’t even remember now but it delivered one simple fact that has stuck with me until this day. Nobody cares about you.
After hearing that, I really think my brain chemistry started to change a little. But even though those words did leave a lasting impact, I still couldn’t fully find comfort in them straight away. It took years of slowly coming out of my shell, building my confidence and self-esteem back from the ground up that I finally stopped doing things like comparing myself to others and trying so hard to ingratiate myself to them.
I thought I had to be a cool, friendly, funny person to have a place in society and other people’s eyes. I wanted so badly for other people to like me.
The fact is that everyone reading this article or browsing the internet is a single person with a whole galaxy in their head of hopes, dreams and concerns. They just don’t put it on display. What you see of someone might only be 20% of their genuine personality. Their thoughts are just as deep and complex as yours, and like you, they also hide their pain deep down to seem fine on the surface. Their concerns might be just as, if not more stressful than yours – which leads me to my main point:
Nobody has time to think that much about another person.
Ask yourself: How much do you really think about your friends? Or a random person you’ve met once or twice in passing? Chances are they don’t even really have an impression of you.
So that embarrassing thing you did in front of them or that cringey conversation that keep replaying your head, chances are, they don’t even remember it. Or if they do, it’s lost in the plethora of information that goes into their head. You’re kinda low on their priority list to be honest.
Once you can really take that in stride, then all that fear holding you back will slowly dissipate and you can be the most beautiful and confident version of yourself.
That won’t happen straight away but if you remember this fact and just do the things you really want to then eventually you’ll get to a point later down the track where you look back and think:
Wow. I did that. And I didn’t need anyone else’s validation to make me feel good. I genuinely just feel good.
And that will be the best feeling in the world.
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